Account by Darryll Flint of his conversion
Background
Dad was a National Service man who fought in the Malaysia campaign. He was then a
long distance lorry driver and TGW union secretary. He was a union man through and
through and I cannot recall him even mentioning anything about God.
Mother was loving, hard working and physically disabled. She had a simple faith in Jesus.
Once I read her Romans 10:9 and her reply was I do believe that’s why I have no fear of
death. She stated this when diagnosed with terminal cancer and the doctors said she had
only weeks to live.
I was brought up in a working class and very socialist household. I had one natural sister
and two aunts almost same age as me where fostered into our family. I was Christened
Church of England and attended the C of E only for weddings, christenings and funerals.
This always sort of instilled in me that I was English. Christened C of E I thought that is all
that was required.
I excelled in sports at school, intended to go to a college to learn a trade or go into the
steel works, but previous to leaving school mum and dad divorced, as mother was
disabled. Suddenly the country had changed and steel workers were being made
redundant. I started work at 15 in a warehouse to bring in the money to pay the bills.
Dad stopped seeing us and married a much younger woman.
Mum struggled through eventually re marrying. I in the meantime I entered into a world of
booze, women and fighting, and the only break from that behaviour was when I took my
boxing and weight training seriously.
My granddad was the only man I used to go to speak to, and then only occasionally but I
loved listening to him because of his knowledge of historical events, gardening and
painting. The love of history was instilled in my heart.
Then I met Carol who was to become my wife. I loved her from the moment I saw her. We
married when she became pregnant. We had two little girls 2 years apart, Natalie and
Chloe. Natalie had what the world terms as severe cerebral palsy. But the love and joy that
through her suffering, she brought to me and my family was beautiful. Chloe health wise
was ok and very helpful little girl. She was a times like a little nurse to Natalie.
Six years passed and over the years Natalie had physiotherapy and bouts of hospital
stays. Natalie then suffered a grand mal and ended up in intensive care. All her organs
had shut down and she was on life support with only the primary part of her brain working.
The doctors requested over one weekend that my wife and I grant permission to turn the
life support off. I stormed out of the hospital and walked around Sheffield city centre in a
completely uncontrollable state. I suddenly found myself in a church called St Mathews. I
had never been there before, but I just sat all on my own. I felt strange with all the effigies
around me, it was like no other C of E I had ever entered, but there for the first time I
actually spoke to God in prayer. I brought our present situation to Him and prayed Natalie
would be better and live.
I have since learnt to be reverent and careful in prayer and that His will be done, not mine.
Oh Lord but Thy will be done.
Natalie improved and pulled through that weekend and we eventually left hospital. She
needed 24 hour care, feeding through a tube, drugs and she was very tense. She suffered
like this for about a year and it hurt me because I knew privately what I had asked God
and which I did not out of love but for selfish reasons, for I did (and I knew my wife also)
did not want to live without our Natalie, our beautiful daughter. She passed by, laid in her
bed one morning, my wife screaming. I tried to save her, breathing into her but failed, oh
so miserably failed, I could not save my own daughter. This destroyed me inside and
instilled such anger and hatred it was hard to contain. I knew not the Lord, I had nothing to
cling to as self had failed.
Selfishly I turned to my old ways, poor selfish me, no care for anyone except myself. I was
angry and I had no real consideration and care for life. I went and worked on jobs that took
me all over the country just to not come back to the house or my family. One day in
Scotland I found some photos of my family in my bag and my heart melted. I quit my job
and went back home. Something had worked in my heart and love and feelings had
entered back into my life, slightly.
We had no money and bills to pay, so I took a labourer’s job restoring old farm buildings
roofing etc. Because the money was poor I also worked nights as a bouncer. I soon
became head doorman/bouncer at certain venues pubs and nightclubs and it was at this
time that I was suddenly on the other side looking at people doing what is termed enjoying
themselves and socializing. Something stirred within me. I could see how wrong this type
of behaviour that what society accepts, is actually very wrong. Still I knew nothing of the
Lord Jesus.
I met an old friend who was working on the railway, paid good money, and he told me how
to gain PTS and off I went. On the railway you are tested for drugs and alcohol so my life
began to slightly change because I liked this job and the pay and I intended keeping it.
It was then I began to fill what spare time I had with football and began private study of
historical events both local and national. I learned how religion had shaped our country in
times past and how quite a few industrial leading men including some in Sheffield had
professed belief in God. I read of the men and women put to death by Queen Mary for the
sake of their belief in God, and I also began to read the Bible.
Regarding football, I followed two teams, one in Sheffield and one in Glasgow. I the
Glasgow team there were strong thoughts, singing and talk on what can only be deemed
as sectarian issues, but I was curiously drawn and learned of Protestant and Catholics and
the issues involved.
It was then that I met an old friend, dressed in a suit, which was unusual because he never
used to dress in that manner. Something had changed him. We spoke and he introduced
me to the Orange order. These were men and women in separate lodges and they were
very patriotic. Some attended "church meetings", and they spoke about God and Jesus.
They were also very reform in belief. Some of these men were bishops and ministers in all
differing denominations, but I had heard the word and believed what I had heard. I
believed and I read my Bible which was now more than a book. I depended on each word.
I spoke over the phone with one of the Orangemen, who was a minister, about the Lord at
Calvary and I knew then in a recognition and conviction of my sin that I was living a life
displeasing before God. It was to change my heart and life. It was then I thought I must
meet with others likeminded, to hear more under the sound of the word. I did not really
know where to go so I attended my local C of E. Well, I attended once only. I then attended
a local Methodist church but what I was reading in my Bible I did not recognize in that
meeting, very nice people though they were. I then attended a Baptist meeting, but when
they heard I was in the Orange order they did not want me to attend. I thought all
Christians were likeminded. I soon found this was not so. Most seemed infected by the
world in all manners of ways.
I was searching for somewhere to meet with likeminded people in all the things of God.
I’d left the Orange order had no desire for football or sports, strong drink, politics, even my
nationality. Being English mattered not; my affections were set on things above. I could not
be entangled with such things
I met and spoke with an old pastor who had previously preached in Bingham Park
(Glasgow) to the Orangemen. I recall he had preached a gospel message in a way I had
never heard before. The words focused on the person of the Lord Jesus. Seed had been
sown in that park. I attended his meeting and was now drawn to reading, and studying the
inspired word of God, praying and having a relationship with the Lord Jesus. It was (and
still is) like a great intense fire inside me, seeking to know more of my Lord Jesus.
By the Grace of the Lord Jesus the darkness, pain and sorrow I held in my heart with the
death of my daughter was suddenly turned to love and understanding. A light shone and
revealed God’s Perfect Love, that through this little child, the precious time I had with her
was not the amount of years but the amount of love and giving I had received, a true
blessing from the Father and how He had provided nearing six precious loving years. I
actually thanked Him for the love He had revealed and presented to me in my beautiful
daughter. This light shone even brighter by the knowledge of God’s mercy, grace and the
precious faith obtained. Revealed was the precious Love that He had bestowed upon me
in giving His only begotten Son. I realized I was not a strongman (as I thought whilst
working the doors), I was weak, and owed a great debt, and knew that the person of the
Lord Jesus Christ had paid the price in full, He had laid down His life for me. All the wrath
of God, He had bore at Calvary for me.
I was the one who could not save the life of my daughter, but my Saviour the Lord is the
One who can save a perishing soul and give life eternal. My life, my heart, changed
forever, my walk changed. I felt in my heart I must "go tell" and this lead me to the
proclaiming of the gospel on the streets or wherever there is opportunity. The scriptures
have not revealed to me as a believer that I should attempt to put the world right, nor to be
a philanthropist. I am no longer an Englishman but a child of God, nothing to do with
politics. I see only two types of people, believers and unbelievers but I am to bless the
world but only from Christ's own standpoint. To him that believes, He is precious, to shew
forth the praises of Him, so I preach repentance and belief in the gospel, a new creature,
with new associations, a new appetite, to declare Jesus is the Son of God, the Christ, and
to obediently follow Him, to know Him through His word and prayer.
Shortly after my job moved to Milton Keynes and it was there I attended a Gospel Hall
meeting. I found believers likeminded, guided by the Holy Spirit, simple in gathering and
reverential in prayer and dress. I observed how they met which seemed in accordance
with how scripture reveals the early Christians met continuing in the apostle’s doctrine in
fellowship and in breaking of bread and in prayers. I was baptized and accepted into
fellowship.
I give thanks to God the Father for my Master, the perfect Servant Son who humbled
himself obedient unto death, the propitiation for sin. I feel the world knows not me because
it new not Him. I seek to follow Him, the Way the Truth, the Life, not only professing but
possessing a real relationship through prayer and study. I cannot compromise with His
inspired word. By the grace of God I trust the Holy Spirit, for the Spirit is truth, and will
teach me and reveal more light of grace and knowledge of the One who is my Saviour,
whom I call my Lord. In Christ Jesus, keeping my eye set, looking unto Jesus, the Author
and Finisher of our faith, teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we
should live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world; looking for that blessed
hope and that glorious appearing of our great God and Saviour Jesus Christ; who gave
Himself for us. For me a sinner saved by grace.
In all humbleness I declare this and give thanks.
All that I was my sin, my guilt,
My death was all my own.
All that I am
I owe to Thee
My Gracious God alone.
D.F.
